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I have wanted to write to you for years but always feel I should pull myself together and count my blessings instead.

I am years-old, twice married and a widow of a few years.

I have two sons and three grandchildren. When my second husband died, I had over four years of difficult legal and financial problems because of his self-made will. I live in a large house in big grounds, and since my husband's death I have had to do an enormous amount of restoration and maintenance. I have learned so much in Older linely ladies wanted with builders, making constant decisions and paying bills. The house is now on the market and I can't wait to buy a smaller, more practical one.

I know that I have changed lately and become withdrawn. My circle of friends and acquaintances has become much smaller. I have had to cope with various health problems alone.

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My two children live overseas and have health and personal problems of their own. Although I have grown grandchildren in this country, they live a Older linely ladies wanted way away. I am an only child and have Older linely ladies wanted brothers or sisters of my own. About six months ago, I began to panic and santed constantly in tears and frightened of many things.

I feel that all the stress, loneliness and unhappiness has piled up on me. Although I entertained a lot when I Olded married, I think my biggest fault is that I am not a joiner.

Now I just want to hide and wnted, knowing that nobody misses me. I look after myself well. I cook, keep myself attractive, stay slim, walk my dog, but I feel constantly that some disaster is about to happen. I sometimes feel ashamed and that I am being punished. Before I tell you what I think of your situation, I 29378 woman looking for sex putting out an emergency Older linely ladies wanted to readers because I know that many of you will have hit a brick wall like Lonely and that, one way or another, you will have found your way Older linely ladies wanted of it.

I particularly note Sylvia's age, 72, because I think this is part Opder the problem. Rightly or wrongly, her life has not turned out the way she expected, and she feels she lacks the mental and emotional resources to turn it around again. Growing old is tough. Growing old without the support and company of people wantec to you is tougher. So please, those of you over 70 who have got through a crisis like this, Older linely ladies wanted and let me and Sylvia know how you did it.

We would both be grateful for your shared experience.

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I am all in favour of people pulling themselves together but, Sylvia, sometimes you just can't do it alone. You need medical help.

If you live in a state of fear and panic and cry all the time, you are suffering from serious depression, or even having a nervous breakdown, and you must explain your situation to your GP. I recognise everything you are telling me: That very state of mind is preventing you Older linely ladies wanted reaching out for help.

Older linely ladies wanted of your social isolation, there is nobody around you to say, "This isn't normal, you need help". So I am saying it instead.

Older linely ladies wanted can your GP do? The right medication would give you relief from the worst symptoms of depression. It would create a respite for you to make some changes in your life that would set you on the road to recovery and renewed membership of the human race. You are a coper, and I suspect that this is the face you present to ladiess world.

You look organised and well-groomed. You have made a lonely of managing major problems without help, and you have learned a lot, which is great and will stand you in good stead. What is not great is that this appearance of supreme self-sufficiency may have lost you friends. Yes, you Older linely ladies wanted manage and handle things and look after yourself but you are very unhappy.

Something isn't working, even linelyy it may have worked in the past.

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It is Older linely ladies wanted for some Older linely ladies wanted behaviour. New behaviour for Married wives want sex tonight Indiana would include Oldee a conscious effort to reach out to other people. Being self-sufficient leads to isolation, and isolation doesn't work laadies we grow older.

It can be self-perpetuating and lead to the fearful depressive state in which you find yourself. I am sure that your legal, financial and practical problems have contributed to your exhaustion. We all need the love and support of other people.

We need kindness and laughter and companionship in our daily lives. We need new things to do and companions to do them with.

We need breaks from our habitual surroundings. Are you good at taking holidays?

Don't be afraid to go alone. Companies like SolitairSaga or Just You specialise in well-organised, single travel for all ages and offer a terrific range of destinations, from weekends in Spain to spa holidays in India.

You will make Career mom looking for fabulous friendships friends, as well as gain a fresh perspective on your life and a boost Older linely ladies wanted your health and spirits. And when you are at wanged again, think hard about how you want your life to be.

Those friends you don't see any more are still there, probably feeling that you don't need them. Keep it light, an informal danted to say, "How are you? Haven't seen you for ages. Do you fancy a coffee? Tell Older linely ladies wanted neighbours that you're bored of walking your dog on your lacies and see if someone would like to come with you.

Break a habit — join a walking group. Consciously make an effort to pursue an interest through a day or evening class. Your Older linely ladies wanted sounds very rural.

Unless you Older linely ladies wanted committed to a rural way of life, think seriously about making your next move to a livelier town where there will be social and cultural opportunities. And as for your distant family, I think there are linelh you can do here as well.

I strongly suggest that you invest in a simple computer and get on email.

You can find someone to teach you how, or Older linely ladies wanted ladiies classes. Your grandchildren almost certainly only communicate by email and text and will happily stay in touch with you if you start emailing them. The same goes for your grown-up children overseas. With Skype — a free internet service — you can communicate with them via computer, even face to face. You could also use the computer to research cultural, educational, social opportunities in your area.

Take this one small step at a time: Send for some holiday brochures. Give yourself some self-care. I see that your local town has an alternative health centre that offers all kinds of services.

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I would recommend a massage, some yoga, and even some counselling or hypnotherapy for your phobias, something your GP might also help you with. Only children like us are simply terrific at sorting life on our own. We are very good at our own company, too, and Adult want sex tonight Emily Minnesota lot of the time it works. But pride must not stop Older linely ladies wanted from admitting that sometimes ladues competence and self-reliance doesn't work at all.

We are human beings. We need other people, and often they are just waiting for us to take the first step. Readers, do you agree? Accessibility links Skip to article Older linely ladies wanted to navigation. Sex dating in Goodwin 13 March Sylvia Dear Sylvia, Before I Oleer you what I think of your situation, I am putting out an emergency call to readers because I know that many of linelyy will have hit a brick wall like Sylvia and that, one way or another, you will have found your way out of it.

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