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A Legend Will Rise! A porn parody featuring a better Batman costume than its mainstream counterpart? A Catwoman who can actually kick ass?

Welcome to the Porn Parody event of the summer! From adult powerhouse Vivid Entertainment and undisputed parody king Axel Braun, comes another epic exercise in geekgasmic film spoofing: No matter what, I knew it was going to be weird.

And then he shoots her in the spine — with an actual gun, I mean. Vividvideo or anything, but I do have a pretty solid understanding of how parody works.

I was so put off by it that I almost tapped out after the first few minutes, but I ended up watching the whole thing out of curiosity over what direction Braun was going to try to go with. After that, Catwoman Aiden Ashley shows up to tell Bruce about Bane and convince him to come back and Redding IA bi horny wives him — you can guess how she does the convincing — Trenton grannies looking to fuck he does, but only after stopping off to see John Constantine and Zatanna first.

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Either way, their scene is easily the best of the movie, Trenton grannies looking to fuck only because nobody actually suffers horrible trauma or death during that one. Instead, we see Zatanna Christy Mack performing for ro bored, mostly-empty bar full of Gothamites, which I actually kind of like.

They live in Gotham City. This is the single best looing of John Constantine that has ever made it to film. Hell, Braun might even be able to get Alan Moore to sign off on that one.

But alas, Batman is betrayed by Kathy and Catwoman, gets his ass kicked, and is then ggannies for dead while Bane and the ladies go off to enjoy themselves at length. What is even happening in this movie?!

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The whole thing is just unbelievably grim, which is even more bizarre given how cheery and likable everyone Trfnton in the Behind The Scenes feature, in which Francesco talks about collecting action figures.

That boggles the mind.

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